Stories from Victims

Victim #1 - An Emotionally, Psychologically, and Physically Battered Woman

"You're not too smart are you babe?" he chided me. "That's okay, everyone knows you're a little slow" he laughed patronizingly, jokingly. I saw my friend look away in embarrassment, her husband was uncomfortable. "Why don't you do something you're good at and go get us some coffee?". I smiled and played along, glad to have an excuse to leave the room and get away from him. He'd been doing that a lot lately, saying rude things to make me look bad, especially when he'd been drinking. I acted like it didn't bother me, but it did. It was bad enough him belittling me when we were alone, but lately, in front of others? I didn't understand.

"Goodnight, thanks for having us over. See you again soon." As we drove away I couldn't stop thinking about it. I finally asked him why he kept embarrassing me in front of other people. "Oh come on, it's not embarrassing. Why are you so sensitive? Don't you have a sense of humor?"

"It's not humorous. What do you get out of doing that to me?" I questioned.

"Hey look. Don't start interrogating me. I'll say what I want whenever I want. I was only kidding." I noticed he was driving faster now, I guess he was getting a little bit angry. He was right on someone's bumper and I was starting to get worried. "Slow down a little bit, you're too close". "Don't tell me how to drive. This asshole better get out of my way." He started honking at him. Oh no, what's he going to do, start a fight? I was nervous and could see he was getting madder and madder.

"Alright, just calm down, it's okay. They can't go any faster, there's someone in front of them". I tried to reason with him to no avail.

"You know what? I'm tired of hearing you. You make me sick and I feel like knocking your head off". Suddenly he swerved to the left and passed the car, accelerating, like a mad man, right into oncoming traffic. I screamed and he jerked back into our lane, narrowly missing the other car. "You want to drive, huh bitch? Think you can do better?" I knew not to say anything or dare take over driving. That would only infuriate him more. I held on tight and didn't say a word, praying we'd make it home safely, worrying that he might hit me, something he'd done before when we were in the car. I kept my head down and looked out my side window.

Finally, safe at home . . . but was I really safe? Now I was alone with him and he seemed really mad. I didn't know what he was going to do. Suddenly he was walking toward me. "Look bitch, if you don't like the way I talk to you in front of people you can get the fuck away from me. You can get your shit and get out now."

"Why would I leave? Why don't you leave? You're the one that's always causing problems." Whack! Slap across my face. Whack again! "You stupid bitch, I've had enough of your shit. You think I'm gonna leave? You're wrong bitch. You're gonna leave." He was standing over me screaming as I cowered down on the couch. "Get up right now and get your shit and get out of here".

I knew if I dared move toward the room to get my things he would explode. Him telling me to leave didn't mean he really wanted me to leave, or would even let me leave. No way. I was doomed to suffer through another one of his outrages and hope I didn't get hit. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it". Well, yes I did mean it, and meant a whole lot more than that truthfully, but I couldn't let him know. I had to appease him at the moment. . . to protect myself, to keep from getting hurt. I'd think about myself later. n fact, I wouldn't even think about what I wanted to say to him. I would suck it up, again. How horrible it is to have to repress your thoughts, your words, your very essence; but you'll do a lot of things out of fear. I had to appease him right now . . . to save myself. That's all that was important at the moment. I'd think about myself later.

An Emotionally, Psychologically and Physically Battered Woman